In his address to congress Pope Francis called on our politicians to use the “Golden Rule.” He said, "Let us remember the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. ... Let us seek for others the same possibilities which we seek for ourselves. Let us help others to grow, as we would like to be helped ourselves." From here he continued with, “[If] we want security, let us give security; if we want life, let us give life; if we want opportunities, let us provide opportunities. The yardstick we use for others will be the yardstick which time will use for us. The Golden Rule also reminds us of our responsibility to protect and defend human life at every stage of its development.” He says this after addressing the crisis in Syria and immigration in the United States. With this statement in mind I am left thinking about the power of seeing the other. In order to see “the other” we must break down the wall of otherness. Behind that wall is just another person. This person is leading a life that is as deep and full as yours. They have struggles, loves, loved-ones, the need for food, water, shelter, security, and equality.
While I am by no means a religious person, what Pope Francis said hit home for me. He is challenging us to get over the “otherness” that we have created. What if you took the time if only for a second and stood in the shoes of someone you disagree with? What is there? What are the feelings, circumstances, and perspectives that person is working with?
If you are pro-choice and pro-abortion what does it look like to stand in a pro-lifer’s shoes? If you are pro-life what does feel like if you stand in the shoes of a woman that does not want a child? If you want illegal immigrants removed from the US what does home look like to the immigrant? If you want to increase the minimum wage what are the worries of the local grocer? If you are a liberal what is it to stand in the shoes of a conservative and vise versa? What values are there? To all problems are complexities as vast as the human mind.
Why do this? In placing yourself in another’s shoes your are holding their humanity. You are saying, “I disagree with you and I am going to do my best to see where you are coming from.” In doing this you, personally, expand your understanding of what it means to be a human on this earth and create a bigger space for real conversations take place. With this larger space you and “the others” can address your needs, their needs, and what is needed without dehumanizing each other.
People are dying to be seen. I can not help my mind from sliding to the “what ifs?” What if those Syrian families had been seen and their humanity held? What if all of the shooters committing mass murders had felt seen in their lives? What if mental illness was not something that was hidden away? What if people could be seen as themselves? What if your race, gender, sexual orientation, political views, socioeconomic status, and religion were not what defined you as a person in our culture? What if we stopped defining people by these socially constructed things? What if we just saw a person? What if we just saw and held their humanity? What if our lawmakers saw people and held their humanity? What if presidential campaigns were not dependent on how much money the candidate had or could raise? What if instead of shouting at each other we listened? What if we could stand passionately on our opinions, and let others stand passionately on theirs? What if seeing and listening could create the space needed for solutions to seemingly immense problems our society is facing today? The voice that says,”I hate conservatives,” is the same voice that says,”I hate liberals.” It is a dehumanizing voice that does not hold the other’s humanity.
I challenge you to pick an issue you strongly disagree with and not only stand in the other’s shoes but attempt to embody what they are feeling. Do this with the sole purpose of understanding. While here do not look for the “weak” spots in their arguments or roll your eyes at the differences between your beliefs. Let go of your ego. I challenge you to break down the wall of otherness and hold the humanity of that person. Then from here, with their humanity in hand, I challenge you to have a listening conversation with a person with those beliefs. Make fewer statements in this conversation and ask more questions. The only way anything in our world will truly change is by holding onto every person's humanity. The only way to change anything is to see the other and be seen without judgement, guilt, or shame. If you want your humanity held, hold the humanity of others.