Dr. Seuss describes a place known as “The Waiting Place” in his book Oh, the Places You’ll Go. This is the place between places; between home and work, education and career, engagement and marriage, the time between emails, phone calls, and text messages. Bruce Mau references “The Waiting Place” in his Incomplete Manifesto for Growth asserting that it is in these “interstitial places” where real growth happens. What is it about this place that grows us? It is uncomfortable and often not very fun, however, the discomfort comes from deep rooted internal change.
My coach, Mara Connolly, tells me to lean into the discomfort. For a long time I didn’t get it. Why should I feel things that are not comfortable, let alone lean into them and feel as though they might be doing something good for me? Here’s a reason. When things start making us feel uncomfortable there are layers of emotion underneath that initial feeling. It means that our core selves are shifting. If we start listening to what makes us uncomfortable, the feelings that are shifting, we start getting an idea of what is making us tick.
I am currently just leaving this “Waiting Place.” In about a month and a half’s time my fiancé Philippe and I found out he had landed his dream job in Austin, put in our two weeks at work, packed up our lives, and moved to Austin, TX from Portland, OR. I was in the spaces between leaving an amazing community in Portland and building a new one in Austin, packing and unpacking my home, and shifting out of being employed to being self-employed. With these new things, these spaces in between, I was feeling lost, restless, and sometimes profoundly lonely. What was my core self telling me? Where was I giving my choice away? Along with this discomfort, I felt an intense drive, a rich connectedness with the people I hold dear and was missing, and an excitement to be on my path. Under the dark of that loneliness I see my immense love of being with people and contributing to my community. Under restlessness I see that I am eager to continue creating impact in the world around me. Under the feelings of being lost is knowing that I am somewhere new in the world and this gives me space for self-compassion. Looking under those initial emotions also allows me to pick the story that empowers me.
Oliver Wendell Holmes said, “The mind, once expanded to the dimensions of larger ideas, never returns to its original size.” Being able to listen to your core self helps stretch the range and depth of emotion. This leads to a greater understanding of the self and creates room to live a more fulfilling life. The idea of being shifts and with it comes the shift in how we live. What are your Waiting Places telling you? What’s under the discomfort of what you are feeling? Which stories will you pick to empower your life?